Panic

They said

Don’t mock anxiety

Don’t laugh at fear

Don’t make fun of

Everything you…

…Just don’t understand

I can’t breathe right now

My chest is caving in

My mind shut down

Because…

If I knew

I would turn it back on

Panic

I can’t keep my hands steady

Too much, too little

I don’t even know

Someone flipped a switch

And I can’t think anymore

Don’t mock anxiety

Don’t laugh at fear

I don’t breathe

And I don’t wanna look up

Tomorrow is too much

And I am scared

Of losing everything

Of giving it all away

Of everything I don’t…

I don’t even understand
I mock anxiety

And I laugh at fear

How else am I supposed to

Tell my mind I am in control here?

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Rebirth

Blow away the ashes From under your bed

Wipe away the dust 

And the finger prints 

From the shelves 

Clean away all the stains 

The blood evidence 

From the walls 

You are starting over 

The past monsters 

That lived in your closet

Hid under your bed

And stole away your dreams

-You killed him

Today you start again 

Light a match

Start a fire 

Tonight sleep in peace

Because the voices in your head

You finally locked away

You died last night

This is your rebirth 

Look down- you are new

So smile

Your hands are clean 

You no longer 

Hide secrets away

The trembling in your mind

Has been replaced 

Can you open your eyes? 

There is light to see your death

One last time

You chased your demons away

You died last night 

And this is your rebirth 

The Wall

There is a thoughtful wall

That we built tall as heaven

Just to keep sunlight out

To scare away all the people

That don’t understand

We painted it full of stars

And sometimes when you look careful

You can see the moon

I painted when I climbed over

It glows sometimes if the sun hits it right

But no one can see it hidden away

Far on the top of the wall

It sits alone and glows to the weary dark

I wrote my name on the inside

Somewhere near the bottom of the wall

Close to the withered grass and cold stones

I carved it deep, and stained it with my blood

I named this place mine and yours

Mine because I made my home here

Your’s because this is where you were born

We play games in the dark

Games that are far too old,

Far too dark for children to play

But they are the only games we know

We are dying here, underneath our wall

But it is a comfort to look up and see

The moon, and all the stars we painted

They remind us that somewhere beyond

Is the sun that we blocked out

And it still shines even though we hide away

Every time I lose the game I lose

A little more blood that I can’t spare

It runs from my wrists and lets the grass grow

It hurts but it keeps the place alive

You always laugh when my wrists bleed

And tell me that next time I will win

But your wrists don’t bleed

Only your eyes bleed, and they weep

The blood flows, even when you win

The grass grows thicker after every game

And soon we hide away from our wall

In the grass we grew by playing

All the games we wish we didn’t know

And we lie side by side and look into the dark

And wish that the wall would fall

So our blood could stop flowing

And the sun could burn us up

Set us free from this place we grew

This home we made that we can’t escape

This jail made of our own safety, our own blood